Roommate 101

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(I can’t concentrate on homework right now so I’ll start this instead)

ROOMMATES 101: The Guide to Surviving a Random Roommate

*I’ll try to recount my experiences without it looking like I’m just ranting about my roommates. *

If you dorm in college and decide to room with a random then this post could be of use to you. I personally didn’t want to room with a friend because it was just a chance to meet new people and who knows, you might meet your new best friend! If that is the case and you do meet your other half then congrats! You my friend are good to go and don’t need to read further (unless you want to hear about how to deal with bad roommates/stories).

Ok, I’ll start with advice and also provide my own input if it goes with it.

1. SHARE YOUR PET PEEVES!
You might not even know you have them until you start living with someone who constantly does something specific. My roommate is a loud person and I’m not so you can already see how this is going. I never really said anything before but she eats with her mouth open and it makes that chap chap noise, if you know what I mean. I have never been bothered by this AT ALL but I think she created this pet peeve for me. What was worse is when I asked her if she could perhaps chew with her mouth closed and she immediately becomes defensive and goes “I’m not going to change for you.” Talk about a real temper booster.

2. BE POLITE BUT NOT TOO POLITE.
When your roommate is sleeping, it is common courtesy to perhaps not start laughing while watching your show at midnight right? I realize she was trying to cover her laugh but if this goes on for an hour and you have to get up around 6am the next day, tell her to shut up. I should have just told her to be quiet but I thought it would be nicer to hint at it. So I ask, “what’s so funny?” and she goes “oh sorry. I’ll stop. I can’t sleep.” Me: “Yeah me either.” Her:”Is it because of me?” Me:”yeah” Her:”Well, why didn’t you say so?” The fact that she had the audacity to raise her voice just appalled me.

3. HAVE COMMON SENSE
I think this advice should apply anywhere and everywhere. But in a roommate situation: if you see your roommate in bed and she has her eyes closed, it does not matter if the lights are still on, trust me, SHE’S SLEEPING. Especially if it’s around 10-11pm and definitely at midnight (I sleep early because I have to get up early). You do not ask, in your loud voice, “Are you taking a nap or sleeping?” I guarantee that she would not respond to your stupid question because quite frankly, taking a nap or sleeping is still just sleeping. [It sucks because I’m a light sleeper so even if I was asleep, that would have woken me up right away.]

4. DON’T WORKOUT IN THE ROOM
Generally dorm rooms are not that big to begin with unless you get a suite and whatnot. But there is a gym for a reason. In the dorm area, we have a couple of small gyms in specific dorms for people who do not want to walk down to the main gym on campus. Not only is it awkward for you to workout in a small cramped up room but it is also uncomfortable for your roommate to be suffocated with the smell of your feet and your heavy breathing. I finally brought the situation up last week, advising her to try out the gym next to our dorm, again, I use very implicit methods because I thought it’s nicer than just flat out telling her to stop working out in the room. To cut the long story short, I actually had to tell her some reasons as to why she can’t workout in HER room.

5. BE ABLE TO READ A SITUATION
There are two types of people: the talker and the listener. Guess which one my roommate is? Yeah, the talker. I usually enjoy talking to her but I guess after a few events (described above), I just got fed up with putting up with someone who obviously forgot her manners at home. I don’t confront people unless I have to so for people I’m fed up with, I simply ignore them. I am by no means being harsh or unfair, I’ve done my best trying to be a good roommate ( I take care of her when she’s sick, I help her with homework, I let her use my fridge, eat my snacks and give her advice) so is it too much to ask for consideration on my part? If you see that you are taking advantage of your roommate and they don’t act as friendly as they were in the beginning, maybe you should think of what you did. Unless you don’t care then you guys can both ignore each other until the end of school.

6. Utilize your lounge, the library, and study rooms
Often times when you can’t stand your roommate and they’re always in the room, then you know you gotta go somewhere else. I personally don’t like this because it’s my room too so why do I have to leave? But you know, you gotta do what you gotta do. If the lounge is empty, use it. If the library makes you study harder, stay until 8pm and then run back to the dorms. I like going places so when I get back to my room, I just knock out and I don’t have to deal with her talking to me. For some reason, if she sees that I’m in bed (trying to sleep actually), but I’m not sleeping yet, she’ll keep talking to me.

7. DON’T ASK STUPID QUESTIONS
If you ask your roommate whether or not they think you would be able to wear leggings after your shower, I can guarantee the answer would be ‘I don’t know.” Because how would I know if you are able to wear your leggings? And yes, we do not have school on Martin Luther King’s birthday and no, I am not lying to you. (These were actual situations, she really did ask me if we really didn’t have school on Martin Luther King’s birthday and when I said yes, she told me I was lying.) Also we went into a conversation about religion somehow. I think she asked me whether I have godparents and I said no. And then she asked whether we have baptism in my religion (I’m Buddhist by the way and she’s Catholic) and I said no again. Then she asked, ‘then what do you guys do then?’ I told her Buddhism wasn’t that complicated since it was more of a way of life than a religion per se. I guess she got offended (she gets offended often) and goes, ‘Well how would I know that?’ It’s funny because when I told my friend about it, she said, ‘doesn’t everyone know that?’ I guess not.

8. DON’T PUT YOUR MOTHER ON SPEAKER PHONE
This is the weirdest situation I was ever in. It was perhaps 9:30 am and I was on my bed, just catching up with my readings for class and my roommate gets a call from her mom. But suddenly she goes, ‘let me put you on speaker phone.’ Yes, totally, put your mom on speaker phone while I am trying to read but you get to complain if my music is too loud when you’re reading.

9. FIND A COMMON GROUND
It’s extremely important to find a roommate that would at least cooperate with what you want as well. Conjure up your business persona and negotiate if worst comes to worst. My friend told me stories on how she kept finding her roommate in bed with a different guy almost every night. Apparently they forgot to establish the no overnight guest rule. Someone else told me their roommate left her underwear on their bed…yuck.

10. TALK TO SOMEONE
Just because it doesn’t seem like a big deal, doesn’t mean it isn’t! I didn’t realize I was annoyed with my roommate until everything started accumulating and it started to affect me mentally. I was already stressed with school but adding roommate problems on top of that was probably enough to make me break down. I advise just taking to a friend who UNDERSTANDS. I don’t recommend speaking to someone that doesn’t sympathize. They’ll probably just throw salt on your wounds and call you high maintenance when you are simply trying to get through college smoothly. It really makes you doubt yourself and think that you’re the one to blame for everything happening to you. I thought I deserved it because I didn’t appreciate my roommate from last year (who was really nice but we didn’t click. I still have good opinions about her though). But honestly, don’t think like I did. If you have a problem, speak up. Don’t put it inside, or you end up twisting the knife yourself.

Note: I really hope this didn’t said like a rant but I tried to back the advice with my own experiences. I’m sure some people have it way worse than me but you live and you learn. I find it invaluable to be able to handle different types of people.

If anyone has their own experiences or advice, feel free to comment! I’m sure I didn’t get all but that’s all I could think of with my sleep-deprived brain.

I actually feel better, typing all this out. Until next time xx.

To be Scared Means You Care

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(i have no clue about the age range of the bloggers here but i’ll be giving advice for high school students and college students)

Ten Things I Wished I Knew in High School and just random advice (in preparation for college)

1. to take as many AP classes as I can because once you go to college, you pay for everything! And yes, college tuition is way more expensive than the measly $97 for an AP test.

2. taking college classes in the summer because high school students get to take them for free at a community college!

3. applying for scholarships in 9th grade or as soon as possible. I only got one outside scholarship, now if I had tried sooner…

4. Get to know your teachers well! It’s so much easier to talk to your teachers in high school than it is in college. If they know you well, then you can get a strong recommendation letter or even scholarship letter. Your AP teachers are the best ones to ask.

5. Leadership positions are important for those who want to aim for the top universities like the Ivy Leagues. I didn’t really hold a leadership position but I volunteered and did a lot of community service. I could have become president of a club if I tried but it’s actually more important to show you’re committed about a cause.

6. Play some sports or do a hobby that you’re passionate about! Unfortunately, my passion was discovered late and on the down-low. I didn’t have anything to showcase at the time with my writing. I wrote stories but those were fanfics, the ones you don’t want the people you know to read because your fangirl status is a secret.

7. Have a back-up dream. I’m not joking. I only had one plan in high school, which is to become a doctor (the dream is still true today). But I wished that I explored more career paths and be more open-minded about areas that I haven’t thought about.

8. Attend a high school that mentally challenges and prepares you for college. I had no clue that high school education was that important until after I attended my first year of college and realize that people without a strong foundation was more likely to fall behind.

9. Start learning how to do interviews! My first interview ever was a college interview with a Yale alumni, it was the most scary thing ever because I didn’t know if I was going about it in the right way. Honestly, I wished I have gone to my college career counselors and just asked more questions, about interviews, majors, anything. Just take advantage of your resources in general, everyone in your high school is there to help you. And if they don’t, then they’re not doing their job.

10. Of course you can have fun. Go out with your friends, go to dances, and go make some mistakes so you can learn from it. Also friends are your connections so surround yourself with good people because you never know, they might be the very ones that can help you when you’re broke and your parents kick you out of the house. Just kidding but you know what I mean.

Note: So like the title of this entails, if you’re scared for your future and how it’ll be like then that just means you care enough to read some advice for it. I’m a firm believer in growing your own way but sometimes, it’s nice to get some help so you can focus on yourself than about the whole college application process. If you know who you are, then life is so much easier.

Questions, comments, criticisms are welcomed! Also if you agree with these advices, please comment about experiences?

My next post will be about roommates and the good and bad things about rooming with random people! Until then xx.

Give Me that Deathless Death

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For fear of the God you don’t know the mind of
You were told to repent the sins you never thought mattered
For fear of burning in a place you’ve only heard about
You held on to the opportunity to save yourself
They took hold of you and fed your mind with their lies
And you didn’t know what the truth was anymore
For that was now your truth

So you incite the same fire that others ignited in you
And you deem yourself worthy to put yourself in position of God
You believe that it was your right to carry out His orders
You believe that it was your job to punish those gone wrong
To put them in a position you so feared a moment ago
You gave them a chance, you say, to repent or pay
But what did they have to pay for?

A choice that wasn’t a choice
A life that was decided without a fight
You can hold onto that belief you thought was right
That one day you will be saved
By ridding those who sinned while you continue to sin
For the God you hold so dear, that you only turn to Him
When you wanted to live a better afterlife

You can hold onto that flame that got you here
I won’t wash it out like you tried to do with mine
For the God I believe in, told me to live my life
without going around, thinking what I believe is right
Because I was not in the position to decide another’s fate
I did not have the privilege to take away another’s flame
So you do not get the right to play God.

Note: I am not bashing anyone’s religion by putting this up, I just heard the song “Take me to Church” by Hozier (love love the lyrics) and these lines came to me. I actually avoid writing about religion since people have strong faiths and I respect that but respect should go both ways. Anyway, this usually happens when some message is so strong, it just forces me to write. I am a mere vessel as my mind take reign. But that’s exactly what this blog is about, freeing your mind and writing about anything! Until next time xx

To speak the mind that screams within

As my username entails, all my posts will be laced with a poetic charm to it. I am by no means an excellent writer nor could I write wonderful poetry. But certain phrases appear in my mind now and then and I would like to give them life by writing them down. So that could happen every now and then where I’ll post random sayings that popped in my mind.

I also wanted to blog about my experiences as a college student, a time where insecurities seem to flourish more than my grades. I want to use this as a way to see how much I will grow in the next few years. If anyone could relate to my posts or find it interesting, that’s all I could ever ask.

I will also be posting excerpts from a story that I’m working on!

I’m actually getting excited but until next time, xx